Thoughts From Inside a Fire
by ThatDamBookGirl
Summary: Did you ever wonder what happened during that tragic fire that causes Leo to lose his mother? Well now you can know. Set to the tune of Pompeii by Bastille. I only own the plot. Rated K plus because of sadness. Songfic. Oneshot.


Thoughts from Inside a Fire

**Just a quick AN before the story. The song is in italics and is centered. I don't own PJO, Leo and Esperanza Valdez, the song Pompeii by Bastille, or the Wizard of Oz, which makes a short appearence in Leo's thoughts. Enjoy!**

**Also, thanks to guest who reminded me that Leo's mom's name is Esperanza not Esmerelda. Plus a shoutout to all of you that review. Thanks!**

Leo was working on Festus when his iPod suddenly switched tracks. It was originally on his working track, which like all his others, had songs that mentioned fire. The song he was listening to in particular was girl on fire. But the new song was different. It wasn't necessarily about fire. Directly at least.

No, this song was about destruction, tragedy, sadness. As soon as the first chorus started, Leo knew it was too late. As he listened to the song with tears in his eyes, his consciousness began to slip away, and before he could stop it, he slipped into a blackout.

He was in his mother's workshop. He was a baby, then a toddler and then a small child. And then he was eight, in the break room, watching as his mother left to get the keys.

_Eh-eh-o eh-o_

The fire started. There was nothing Leo could do to stop it. He screamed and cried for his mother, but she couldn't hear him. It was too late.

_I was left to my own devices_

_Many days fell away with nothing to show_

She had left him alone with no one that loved him. His other family hadn't accepted him. He was left to the social services.

_And the walls kept tumbling down_

_In the city that we love_

_Great clouds roll over the hills_

_Bringing darkness from above_

The smoke closed around Leo, but it wasn't hard to breathe. In fact, it was the opposite. Here he felt at home, at peace. But no, that wasn't right. He wasn't sitting next to his mom at their fireplace in their small little apartment in Houston. He was in a fiery inferno. He struggled against the calling, and he opened his eyes. He had never been so far off from what he imagined. In his mind, he was curled up next to his mother in a bed, a warm bed, wrapped in blankets. Within a second, the scenery had changed drastically. He was surrounded by thick clouds of grey smoke billowing through the air. The smell of smoke had instantly gotten stronger, as if the added sense of sight had a large impact on it.

_But if you close your eyes,_

_Does it almost feel like_

_Nothing changed at all?_

_And if you close your eyes,_

_Does it almost feel like_

_You've been here before?_

_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

He tried closing his eyes to see if that would help. It always did in movies. He remembered one time his mom had rented a movie about a girl who was in a tornado and was teleported to a magical world. Maybe if Leo clicked his shoes together, he would wake up safe in his mother's arms. But real life doesn't work like that. He was stuck in that moment. Forever.

_We were caught up and lost in all of our vices_

_In your pose as the dust settled around us_

He wished and desperately hoped that he could find his mother and curl up next to her, protect her from the ash and dust.

_And the walls kept tumbling down_

_In the city that we love_

_Great clouds roll over the hills_

_Bringing darkness from above_

But all the wishing didn't make it any better. In fact, it just made it worse. It made him yearn for the old times, the good old days.

_But if you close your eyes,_

_Does it almost feel like_

_Nothing changed at all?_

_And if you close your eyes,_

_Does it almost feel like_

_You've been here before?_

_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

Leo wasn't a genius, but he didn't have to be to know that dreams didn't always come true. His mother wouldn't be able to see him, hug him, tell him that she loved him one last time. Leo wondered if she still did. Probably not. Not after all this. Esperanza would never be able to watch Leo, her only son, grow up. At least, not from this world.

_Eh-eh-o eh-o_

Strangely enough, during this disaster, Leo was reminded of a song that his mother used to sing to him. Something about babies and springtime.

_Oh where do we begin?_  
><em>The rubble or our sins?<em>  
><em>Oh oh where do we begin?<em>  
><em>The rubble or our sins?<em>

Who would love Leo now? He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't hear the sirens coming from outside as the firefighters made their way towards the workshop.

_And the walls kept tumbling down (oh where do we begin?)_

_In the city that we love (the rubble or our sins?)_

_Great clouds roll over the hills (oh where do we begin?)_

_Bringing darkness from above (the rubble or our sins?)_

The paramedics were inside now. But they were too late. There was nothing that they could do to help Esperanza. She was too far gone. The only one they were left with was a little boy, not yet nine, sitting on the ground. With no burns.

_But if you close your eyes,_

_Does it almost feel like_

_Nothing changed at all?_

_And if you close your eyes,_

_Does it almost feel like_

_You've been here before?_

_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

Leo knew there were multiple ways to cope. But the only way he knew how to was to act out, to be the class clown. Laughter hides the pain. Smiles hide the sorrows. They say those who smile the biggest have seen the most grief. And they aren't totally wrong.

_If you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?_

Leo wanted to leave and he wanted to forget. But he couldn't. Everything brought him back to the workshop fire on that fateful day when his mother had died.

_Eh-eh-o eh-o_

**Thanks for reading! Virtual cookies for all! Flames are welcome, but will be used to make Leo Valdez clones. Review! **

**~ThatDamBookGirl**

**:)**


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